I want to talk about an obvious point that’s taken me a few years to really notice.

The idea is simple: We humans don’t want what everyone else has… we want what everyone else has AND MORE. In the context of women and dating, it goes like this:

WOMEN AREN’T ATTRACTED TO GUYS THEY PERCEIVE AS AVERAGE.

Remember, ATTRACTION doesn’t make logical sense… Women don’t say “Oh, he’s a kind, honest, loyal type of guy from a good family… AND THAT REALLY TURNS ME ON.”

Nope.

Women say things like:
“He’s sexy”… “There’s chemistry between us”… “I really feel something for him”… etc.

And also remember: If a woman feels a strong ATTRACTION for you, then the rest of the equation isn’t as important. If she feels it, she’ll go out of her way to find good reasons to be with you…
even if you’re not her “physical type”.

On the other hand, no amount of gifts, favors, dinners, kindness, or a good family will make her feel ATTRACTION… at best these things can only make her feel a more “loyal” kind of love.

So if women don’t like “average” guys and the most important thing is to make her feel ATTRACTION towards you, then how do you do it?

I thought you’d never ask…

First, let’s talk about the word “average” and what it REALLY means.

As far as women are concerned, and especially the ATTRACTIVE ones, men are EVERYWHERE. They’re like cars. Every once in awhile one stands out and makes you say “Oh, that one is nice.”

A lot of guys take this concept too far and say “Well, I’m not rich, and I’m not famous… so no really hot woman is going to find me attractive.”

My experience and research has shown me that women are far more ATTRACTED to things like attitude, confidence, body language, humor, etc. than looks or money. Sure, those things might INITIALLY get a woman’s attention, and there are those women that will only settle for a rich or unusually handsome guy… but this is the extreme minority.

In fact, it’s very easy to be seen as “above average” if you know what women are looking for, and you know how to deliver.

Remember the danger: If you are perceived as “average” early on, then a switch goes off in her mind, and the game will be over before it’s even begun.

So let’s do a little exercise, let’s figure out two things:

1) What most guys do that women see as “average”, and…

2) What you can do to instantly be seen as “ABOVE average” and, most importantly, ATTRACTIVE.

First, let’s talk about what most guys do in most situations (more specifically, what most guys do WRONG). Here are some of the things that I’ve seen…

If the setting is a bar or a club, most guys will either say “Can I buy you a drink?”, “Wanna dance?”, or “Hey baby, how YOU doin’?”… or they do crass things like stare at women with wanting eyes or grab them as they walk by.

If the setting is a public place, like maybe a woman working at a clothing store, a waitress, or some other similar high-traffic situation, most guys will ask a lame question like “Do you have a boyfriend?” or “Can I take you out sometime?”

Ugh.

These kinds of approaches can only result in you being seen as another lame, average guy.

Here are a few ideas to try instead…

If you’re in a bar or club setting, try asking a woman or a group of women THEIR OPINION on something. I personally like this one:

“Hey, my friends and I were talking and we need a female perspective… What do you ladies think about this new trend of women being proud of paying their own way and buying their own things? Like the Destiny’s Child song “Independent Woman?”

Women will usually ENTHUSIASTICALLY join into a conversation like this one. (I personally like this topic because it starts off by talking about women taking care of themselves in a positive light, which sets the stage for not having to pay for a lot of things right up front!)

If you’re out in a public place, at a store where a woman is working or some other high-traffic place, you might try something like this:

After chatting about whatever business you’re doing there, say “Hey, are you single?”

I love this question! It’s such a shocker, and it says all the right things. Most guys say “Do you have a boyfriend?” which is the usual question. “Are you single?” is much more forward, and most women have to do a double take to think for a moment.

If she pauses, I say “I’ll take that as a YES…”, which is pretty funny and usually gets a laugh.

In either of these cases, it’s now time to get the digits and get out. You already know that I’m not a fan of standing around and trying to keep a conversation going for any longer than you have to.

So after two or three minutes of small talk and general conversation, just go into the “3 Minute Phone Number” close that you’ve learned in an earlier newsletter or in my book…

Say “It was nice talking to you, I’m going to get back to my friends… (or shopping, or whatever)” and as you turn away, turn back and say “Do you have email…?” etc.

These two scenarios are obviously very simple, and also very easy. I’ve had guys say to me “Well, there’s nothing really that different about those approaches.”

Ah, but there is.

The most important difference is that you’re doing something COMPLETELY different than the other 47 guys who have approached her that day…
and you also know EXACTLY what you’re going to do and say and the conversation progresses.

Of course, another thing you can do that will INSTANTLY separate you from the rest of the crowd is to use the idea of being “Cocky and Funny”, which I teach in my eBook “Double Your Dating“.

This very unique approach has helped many of my thousands of readers to dramatically increase their success with women… and to be no longer seen as AVERAGE by women.

If you haven’t learned how to use the almost MAGICAL formula of being Cocky & Funny, or any of the literally hundreds of other techniques I teach, then you really need to get yourself a copy of my online eBook.

You can download it here and be reading it in just a few minutes from right now. [This book and the three bonuses that come with it are the FOUNDATION for success with women. Everything you read in these articles will make more sense once you have read the book]

There are really two very different (and important) aspects to the “conversations with women” topic:
1. The HOW.
2. The WHAT.

THE HOW

Most guys want to know “what to talk about” with women.

It only makes sense that you should talk about things that women are interested in… right?
Well… partially.

It is actually FAR MORE IMPORTANT to talk about whatever topic you’re talking about in the RIGHT WAY.

In other words, if you don’t understand HOW to carry on a conversation that creates ATTRACTION, then it really won’t matter WHAT you talk about… because the woman you’re talking to won’t FEEL anything towards you.

The HOW of conversation includes (but is not limited to):
-Your body language
-Eye contact
-The Cocky & Funny style of communicating
-Flirting
-Sending mixed messages
-Directing the conversation
-Dealing with common questions and topics
…and many other things.

My point is that if you’re running into a lot of “uncomfortable silences”, nervousness, and other usual challenges, then you probably need to get the HOW handled before the WHAT.

THE WHAT

With that said, there are several topics that are GREAT to discuss with women. But instead of just giving them to you, I want you to do yourself a favor and THINK for a minute.

What topics do women PAY to hear about?
Hint: Cosmo magazine, romance novels, soap operas, nighttime dramas, the fashion channel… etc. If you think about it, the answer to this question is rather obvious.

For whatever reason, WOMEN tend to LOVE:
-Drama
-Conflict
-Romance
-Famous people and their lives
So… it’s really quite easy to enjoy a conversation with a woman about these topics.

Here are a few ideas:
1. Play amateur psychologist to the stars.
Talk about how someone famous is doing something really stupid, then psycho-analyze them.
For instance… right now, Michael Jackson is something like two hundred million dollars in debt. Even though he makes about twenty million dollars a year, he somehow manages to blow it all and then some. He has spent an unimaginable amount of time and money on plastic surgery and skin bleaching… and he reportedly just spent around seven hundred grand digitally darkening his skin tone in a recent video.
This situation is all kinds of BEGGING to be picked apart with a fine-toothed critical mind.
It’s also PREGNANT with humor opportunities.

2. Find an interesting-looking group of people and guess what’s going on.
Look around you, and find a couple sitting at a table that looks like they’re on their first date.
Then start making fun of how the guy is acting, how he’s dressed, his posture, or whatever. Talk about how the woman is thinking that he’s a dork and how he’s not getting any, no matter how many compliments he gives her.
Analyzing what’s going on with a close group of others is big fun, and women love it.

3. Make fun of someone famous.
Talk about how a super model is too skinny, or how Ozzy has killed all his brain cells and what a shame it is that he’s on TV broadcasting it to millions of viewers. Make fun of Mariah Carey for gaining weight, being put in the loony bin, and putting out a sucky movie.
All you have to do is read a few gossip magazines to get all kinds of great stuff to make fun of. It’s fun, it’s funny, and it’s a great way to talk like you’re all that.

4. Talk about other people’s love lives.
Talk about the problems that others are going through when it comes to love and romance, then volunteer completely ridiculous theories about what’s going on.
Mention a friend you had who broke up with his girlfriend because she gained weight, then after you’ve told the story, make up a random theory about how women who gain weight are actually lesbians.
But make sure it’s funny, whatever you invent.
…I think you can “feel me”.

The point here is that women are NATURALLY fascinated and drawn to certain topics… so USE THEM. The REAL benefit of talking to women about topics that really interest them is that you can USE ALL THE OTHER IDEAS THAT YOU’RE LEARNING while you’re talking!

You can AMPLIFY THE ATTRACTION as the conversation goes on… as long as you know what else to do as you talk.

Oh, by the way… Topics to avoid:
Rape, kidnapping, stalking, death, chess, computers, comic books, Star Wars, monster trucks, and NSYNC. NEVER talk about topics that might really freak a woman out, or topics that make you look like the biggest loser alive in the beginning. You’ll create BAD VIBES that will make any attraction that you’ve created INSTANTLY disappear. Others to really avoid include talking negatively about yourself, talking about how desperate you are or how long it’s been since you’ve been on a date, asking if she likes you or if you’re her “type”… and any other WUSS-BAG topic that makes you look insecure and needy.

Remember, the key to success with women is creating a powerful emotional ATTRACTION between you and her. If you don’t know how to do this, then NOTHING you do is going to help you very much. If you DO know how and why women feel ATTRACTION for men, then almost ANYTHING you do or talk about can amplify it.

And if you’d like to get the basics of how ATTRACTION works, plus a good set of tools to use for meeting and dating women, then go download my eBook “Double Your Dating”. You can download it here and be reading it in just a few minutes from right now. [This book and the three bonuses that come with it are the FOUNDATION for success with women. Everything you read in these articles will make more sense once you have read the book]

Conversation Topics With Women: Learning To Date: Men and Women Meeting For Dates

I’ve learned a secret to impressing women that I’m going to share with you in this article. It’s a secret that probably not 1 in 1,000 men knows or will ever figure out on his own. The REASON that most men will never figure out this particular secret is that it’s TOO OBVIOUS.

Let me explain…
I personally think that most men feel a very powerful desire to IMPRESS women. If you watch the way a man behaves when he’s talking to a woman he’s just met or a woman that he’s on a first date with, you can SEE IT.

Maybe you’ve been there yourself. I know I have. Many, many times, in fact.
The feeling that you need to impress a woman usually comes along with another feeling: DON’T SCREW THIS UP.

Here are some of the signs that a guy is feeling the need to “impress” the woman that he’s talking to:
1) He tries to only say “cool” things, or things that will “impress” the woman.
2) He acts nervous and stilted during the conversation… sometimes coming across as “formal”.
3) He tries to figure out what the woman wants to hear.
4) If he says something that the woman doesn’t like, he “back-pedals” and tries to change what he said to suit the woman.
5) He doesn’t say anything “risky”, doesn’t tease the woman, and doesn’t do anything to upset her.
…in other words, when a guy is talking to a woman that he “likes”, he’s usually on his “best behavior”, and he’s trying to “put his best foot forward”.

To say it again, MEN FEEL A POWERFUL DRIVE TO IMPRESS THE WOMAN THAT THEY “LIKE”. And this drive to impress often makes them act UNNATURAL.
There’s your first hint, in fact…

THE SECRET

Remember at the beginning when I told you that I was going to share a secret with you about how to impress women that not 1 in 1,000 men will figure out on their own?

Well, here it is:

STOP TRYING.

If you will just STOP TRYING to impress women, and do the things I’m teaching you instead, women will NATURALLY be “impressed” by you.

TRYING TO IMPRESS A WOMAN DOESN’T IMPRESS HER.

So let’s break this down…

WHY IMPRESSING WOMEN IS THE WRONG ROAD

What’s wrong with trying to “impress” women, anyway?

To start with, EVERYTHING.

When you intentionally try to impress a woman, you send the following messages on a “subtle” level:
1) I don’t think you’ll like me for who I am, so I will try to “impress” you instead.
2) I’m not comfortable enough around women to just act normal.
3) I don’t have a lot of experience with attractive women.
4) I’m insecure.
5) I don’t know how to make women feel comfortable with me.

Ouch.

But it’s the truth.

Women can TELL INSTANTLY when you’re “trying”. The conversation doesn’t feel “normal”, your body language is strange, and you can’t seem to have a regular conversation. Now of course, I’ve just described the way that about 99.9999% of men act when they’re first talking to a woman that they “like”. Are you ready for a profound insight?

Here goes…

MOST MEN DO THIS WITH MOST ATTRACTIVE WOMEN MOST OF THE TIME. IN OTHER WORDS, IT’S OLD NEWS. IT’S BORING. IT’S PREDICTABLE. AND IT DOES NOT IMPRESS AT ALL.

The bottom line is that trying to impress a woman usually has the OPPOSITE effect. It not only makes you look like a nervous guy who can’t make normal conversation… it also bores the hell out of women.

WHAT TO DO INSTEAD

OK, so you’re out having a cup of tea with a beautiful woman you just met a few days before…
She asks you what you do for a living.
Should you answer with:
1) “Well, I’m an engineer for a software company that makes sophisticated vector widget plotting algorithms. I’ve been with them for three years, and I’m about to be promoted to ALGORITHM MANAGER.”
2) “I do stunt work. Have you ever seen it in a movie when a hot actor has to reveal his naked ass? That’s my job.”
…?

Well, it all depends on what your outcome is. If you want to try and IMPRESS the girl with your cool high-tech job, then #1 will work just fine.

Unfortunately, it won’t impress her at all, and it will make you sound like a jackass who is trying to sound cool. If you want to ACTUALLY impress her, try #2. Most men don’t have the BALLS to say something like this when a woman asks a “serious” question like “What do you do?”. If you REALLY want to make a long-lasting impression, KEEP THE HUMOR GOING.
She’ll say “No, really… what do you do?”.
Answer with: “No, really. Haven’t you ever seen it when an actor needs a stunt ass? I mean hey… someone’s got to do it”.

Now, I can’t possibly go into all the reasons why it’s a HUGE MISTAKE to try to impress a woman, or to feel like everything you say should be “impressive”.

There are MANY reasons for this. MORE IMPORTANTLY, there are a few things you can do that will INSTANTLY impress a woman… and I mean REALLY impress her.

But these things aren’t OBVIOUS. The most IMPORTANT thing you can do to IMPRESS a woman is make her feel a powerful emotional ATTRACTION for you. This feeling will stay with her long after you have left and gone home. And it’s the one thing that will make women pursue YOU… and try to impress YOU.

What’s the best way to do this?
1) Stop trying to IMPRESS women. Stop it now.
2) Go  and download a copy of my online eBook “Double Your Dating“, and read it. It contains literally DOZENS and dozens of great techniques for you to use that will make women feel ATTRACTION for you.

You can download it to your computer and be reading it in just a few minutes from right now. It’s here. [This book and the three bonuses that come with it are the FOUNDATION for success with women. Everything you read in these articles will make more sense once you have read the book]