No two ways about it: ask the average guy what he’s looking for in his “dream woman,” and — if he’s being brutally honest –he’ll put “physical beauty” at the top the list.

But here’s the thing… we all know deep down that extreme “physical beauty” is one quality that — at best — has nothing to do with the success of an exciting, fulfilling, long-term relationship. And, at worst, it often contributes to its failure. We don’t have to be Sherlock Holmes to figure out why…

Sure, “hotness” works to get a man interested in a woman in the first place… even to keep him interested for a while. But the stats don’t lie: years down the road, relationships based on physical attraction do not stand the test of time.

So then. What should a man look for when it comes to finding his “perfect match” for the long term — also known as his true “dream woman”? Here are 3 key steps to finding and keeping her:

STEP #1: SEE THE BIGGER PICTURE

Look. For a man, escaping his narrow, hard-wired thinking about the qualities his ultimate “dream woman” should possess is his greatest obstacle to ever finding her.

His success in meeting his dream woman — and keeping her for the long term — actually lies in seeing a much larger picture. In doing everything he can to attract a woman who contributes and enhances his life in ways that he often can’t see “up front.” (Guys are so hopelessly near-sighted when it comes to our own happiness, we should be born with glasses) .

In more specific terms, every man should envision the kind of woman who can help him achieve (and share) his “dream” life… the life that he’s always imagined for himself. This means choosing a woman equipped with the qualities necessary to love and support him in achieving those dreams, no matter what they may be.

Which leads us directly to:

STEP #2: DEFINE WHAT YOU WANT OUT OF LIFE

This one’s as simple as it sounds… Before you start living your dreams, first you need to know what they are. So get to work… as in right now… clarifying your personal “vision” of an exciting, happy, fulfilling life.

Once you do, guess what… the qualities that your “dream woman” must possess to share and help you achieve those dreams will become immediately obvious.

So go figure yourself out. Are you an outgoing world-traveler with dreams of sailing the world? Or an introverted screenwriter hell-bent to winning an Oscar for best screenplay?

Nail it down in no uncertain terms, because it ain’t rocket science — until you know yourself and what you want, there’s no way to find a woman who’ll love you in amazing, life-changing ways for who you are.

STEP #3: “MATCH UP” WITH YOUR DREAM WOMAN

It’s amazing how many guys kvetch and complain about cold, unsupportive, selfish women in their lives, right? And it’s all because these guys overlook the obvious when it comes to “matching up” with their true “dream woman” in the first place.

In other words, if you’re that outgoing world-traveler with dreams of sailing the world, you must take action to match up with a woman with a genuine sense of spontaneity… a passion for nature… a fearless love of adventure… you name it.

If you’re that introverted writer looking for an Oscar one day, then arrange your life so that you cross paths with women who have a deep appreciation for thoughtful communication… an unwavering support through failure… an intelligent compassion.

Bottom line: When it comes to finding your “dream woman”, first you must honestly, unflinchingly envision the future you really want for yourself. Only then can you go after the tangible qualities in the kind of woman who can help you achieve that future.

Otherwise, sure, a “hot” woman may rock your world for a date or two. But long-term love is sure to fail… until you take steps to help the true woman of your dreams find you.

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Acclaimed author David DeAngelo cracked the “secret code” as to why some men are naturally, effortlessly successful with women… while most endure painful frustration and failure. David shares his most powerful tips and tools for how ANY man can find his “Dream Woman” in his FREE “Dating Secrets newsletter.” Subscribe to it here.

…Within Three Minutes Of Meeting Her by David DeAngelo

Let me start off by telling you something interesting:

I’ve personally stopped focusing on just getting phone numbers, I try to get email addresses far more often.

I’ve found that EMAIL addresses are far better (I still get the phone number too, if I can or it’s all she’ll give me). Let me explain this to you.

I perfected the art of getting phone numbers a couple of years ago. (And I achieved a lot of success by this feat too.)

If a woman is single, I can walk up to her and get her number in about a minute or two (if I’m in a hurry). I found out later, after working like a mad scientist on this that getting phone numbers alone doesn’t equal success with women.

You see, women have many different reasons for giving out their phone numbers:
Some love the attention of having a lot of men call them.
Some like to turn guys down.
Some are actually interested.

But the universal feedback that I get from men, and in my personal experience, women act different on the phone than they do in person.

When you call a woman for the first time, she’ll often start acting stand offish or even worse, just plain rude. It’s almost like she’s a different person than the one you met.

I’ve found that getting an email address is not only easier, but it gets more positive responses from the women you asked later on. It’s almost as if women appreciate it that you’ve taken the time to think about what you’re going to say when you write an email to them, and they think of you more like someone they know.

If you call, you have to actually reach them. But an email can be answered anytime. And I’ve found that emails are answered FAR more often than voicemail messages.

HERE’S THE HOW TO:

After I’ve met and talked to a woman for about 3 or 4 minutes, I’ll often say something like “Well, it was nice meeting you. I’m going to get back to my friends.” They usually don’t know what to do, as they’re used to guys clinging to them. Most of the time, they say “It was nice meeting you too…” Then, just as I’m turning to walk away, and we kind of disconnect, I turn back and say “HEY! Do you have email?”

The “HEY!” is a bit surprising, and “Do you have email” is non-threatening. In fact, I’m technically asking her if she HAS email, not if she’ll GIVE IT TO ME.

If she says “yes,” I take out a pen and paper and say “Great, write it down for me” and I have her write it down. (This is great, as I just treat the ‘yes’ that they give me as a yes to get it from them as well. And they’ve almost ALL gone along with it so far) Then AS SHE’S IN THE MIDDLE OF WRITING, I say “Write your number down there too.”

When you ask for email, it’s very low risk for a woman, so she’ll think “Fine, I’ll do that.” Most women will give out an email address without thinking about it, because they know that they can choose later to just not answer.

The magic of asking them to write their phone number down WHILE they’re in the middle of writing down their email is all about the psychology of human behavior.

She’s already mentally said “OK, I’ll give you my email address”… and she’s in the middle of writing it down. When you say “And just write your number down there too” it’s only NATURAL to just write it.

In other words, it’s a MUCH smaller step than giving out the phone number all by itself. It took me a LONG time to figure out this simple move, but it works like magic! You will have women writing their phone numbers down without even thinking twice.

Here’s a great add-on to make sure you’re getting a real phone number and not a pager or voicemail:

As she’s writing down her phone number I say “Is this a number that you actually answer?” If she looks at me and hesitates, or says that it’s her “voicemail or pager number,” then I say “Look, write your real number down. It’s going to be OK, I’ll only call you nine times a day…” They laugh and usually give me their real number.

Now, if she answers my first question and says “No, I don’t have email” then I bust on them and say “Well, do you have electricity?” This is a GREAT opportunity to use humor.

Then I say “Well, OK then. I like email better, but I’ll take your regular phone number. It’s so damn hard to reach people on the phone these days.”

Just realize that all you have to do is ask.

Like I said, I’ve tried all kinds of things.
And I’ve gotten hundreds of phone numbers.
And I use this exact sequence every time I talk to a woman and I want to get her phone number.
I’ve gotten to the point where I can often do this in a minute or two – no kidding!

Now that you know the sequence, write it down with the words and the steps, and rehearse it in your mind over and over until you know exactly what to say for each step and each response.

Many guys have asked me “But what do I tell her as a reason why I want her number or email?” I’ve never had a woman ask me. If you ask, and they give it, then she knows why you asked. If she doesn’t give it to you, then she also knew why you asked.

Just assume that this is the case.

If you ask every time, and you do it in a smooth, assuming, calm way, you’ll get a lot of emails and phone numbers.

Note: Carry a pen on you at all times. I prefer the Fisher Space Pen (chrome) because it’s small, classy, and women love it!

If you haven’t signed up for my free newsletter, or downloaded your copy of my eBook, just go to this page and download your copy right now (free registration required).
Learn the secrets that thousands of my readers all over the world are using right now to meet women and get more dates.
You’ll learn how to approach women, how to get more dates, places to take women that are fun and FREE instead of paying for expensive dinners, how to get physical with women, and a lot more.
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David DeAngelo is the author of “Double Your Dating – What Every Man Should Know About How To Be Successful With Women”, and has taught thousands of men how to be more successful with women and dating.
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Copyright 2008-2011 David DeAngelo Communications Inc., All Rights Reserved. “David DeAngelo” and “Double Your Dating” are trademarks used by David DeAngelo Communications Inc.

*Photo credit of Olga M. by Leonardo Agovins of Met-Art