If there is a girl that you hang out a lot with, a girl that you really like but she has a boyfriend, then let me tell you straight out:
She will never date you.
Now, you’re going to tell me that you hang out together a lot. You talk, chat, text and you find it very easy to be yourself around her.
She doesn’t treat you like other girls do.
She tells you about the troubles she’s having with her boyfriend (it seems that there is always drama in her relationship with “him”), and you listen but don’t offer too much advice because you’ve learned over time that she will explain away the things he does to her even as she complains out loud about him.
You tell her to break up with him but she won’t, no matter what he does to her, even up to missing dates with her while hanging out with his friends, maybe even to the point of forgiving him for cheating on her.
You feel great love for her because she listens to you and you share very private secrets and very private goals and dreams.
Her dreams involve “him” and your dreams involve “her”, this girl that you love, even though she doesn’t love you back, not the same way you do.
It is very hard to get a girl that is your friend to break up with the jerk she has as a boyfriend and date you instead but it can be done.
It just takes time and a helluva lot of willpower.
Most guys fail at this point because they think that what they need to do, what I suggest to them is mean (or being a jerk, like the guy she’s dating now – ironic, eh?).
Some guys start out doing what I tell them to do and stop doing it after a short while, a day or two, because they don’t have the balls to actually do the work to get her to become your girlfriend when the two of you already share so much (and yes, this includes the two of you sharing her boyfriend “the jerk” if you think about it).
A few guys do what I tell them to do and even they fail to turn the “girl friend” into their “girlfriend” because they end up showing exactly how much of a wussy they are. Guys, being romantic is very different from being a wussy.
If you’re reading this because you want to turn a girl you have as a close friend into your girlfriend but she already has a boyfriend, then read on because the truth is hard to swallow but this is not a poison pill, it’s one of life’s lessons and if you don’t learn it now, or you fail to follow through what I tell you to do to the end, then you’ll never learn, or even understand, this life lesson.
What You Need To Do
You need to stop centering your life around her. Understand this, her life does not revolve around you, she has a boyfriend.
You need to stop texting and chatting with her. Being available to reply to her all the time takes up too much of your time, time that you could be doing a lot of other things, maybe even like meeting other girls and hanging out with them. And if you are always available to chat with her, and she can fit you and her jerk boyfriend into her same schedule, then she doesn’t need you as a “boyfriend” because she has one already and she has you to be there for her when her real boyfriend isn’t.
You need to stop being so empathetic with her. The more you listen to her life’s troubles the better she feels about herself because she has someone to talk to. But shouldn’t she really be saying these things to her boyfriend, not a guy (you) that she just won’t see as boyfriend material? And if you spend all of this time listening to her, shouldn’t she pick you as her boyfriend? You are very hopeful, but she is dating and loving a different guy, a guy that isn’t you.
Stop being available to listen to her at any time, day and night. Stop texting her, stop talking on the phone, stop tweeting her, stop Facebooking her. Even though you really do want your life to revolve around her the way things are right now will not make it happen, so top doing these things.
What are you actually giving her when you do all of these things? You are giving her time away from you so that she can sort out if she loves you and how much. Yes, she will miss you and she will contact you, text you, call. Or she won’t.
You don’t tell her this is what you are doing, but just fade away, be busy with other things when she contacts you. You want her to miss you but really what you want is for her to miss you enough that she does come to the realization, all by herself, that she wants to be with you more than her boyfriend.
If you do these things and give her time away from you and all she does is replace you with another friend, instead of missing you, then you never, ever, had a chance of dating her, never would you have become her boyfriend. And it’s good you learned this now before you wasted another minute of your life on her.
If you want to find out more about women, friendships, love and dating, listen to my friend David Deangelo, this is a guy that does have all the answers!
Introduce yourself to David here and listen closely to what he’s going to tell you.
