Thursday’s Dating Tip

Eye Contact Signals

Eye contact is amazing. Most men can’t keep eye contact with a woman who’s looking right at them.

This “breaking eye contact” signals to a woman that you are NOT secure, confident, and SEXY. You must learn to keep eye contact until SHE breaks it. Next, don’t worry too much about the eye contact.

The guys I know who are best with women approach women that they’re interested in whether they’ve made eye contact or not. It doesn’t matter. Sure, if you DO make eye contact, and she holds it for a little longer than she should, it’s a “move forward” signal… but you have to get over the idea that you NEED eye contact first.

I’ve approached HUNDREDS of women that I DIDN’T make eye contact with… and gotten great results. And when you’re dealing with EXCEPTIONAL women who are VERY attractive, you’ll find that they don’t “look around” as much, because they’re trying to AVOID eye contact with too many men… as they know that this will trigger an endless line of men who are trying to get their attention.

Do what YOU want to do. It’s YOUR reality, remember?

Thursday’s Dating Tip

How To Call A Girl

When you call a girl up and ask “What are you doing?” or “What are you doing later?” or “What are you doing Tuesday night?” you’re basically giving away all of your own power, and setting yourself up.

When a woman hears these words, she instantly realizes that you’re going to ask her out, and that if she has something “better” to do, she should take it.

Much better to say “I’m going to go have dinner later, you should come along” or “I’m thinking of going to X for dinner. I’ll let you join me if you pay…” etc.

I know this is subtle, but it’s important to set up every conversation in a way that doesn’t give away your power and increases her interest in you.

One of the toughest things guys face when picking up women, when looking for the evening’s hookup, is to speedily figure out if she’s interested in hooking up or are you just going to buy her a few drinks and end up looking for someone else in a couple of hours.

So here is a guide for you:

1. She talks a lot… a woman that’s into you will talk to you. If she keeps looking for an escape from your company, gives you a lot of “Yups” and other single word answers to your questions, move on quickly.

2. She says she’s hungry… and wants you to take care of her needs but only right then, right there, she doesn’t want to go elsewhere with you to feed her face, that’s a big ballbuster right there.

3. If you can’t get a number or an email from her within the first ten minutes… watch your back, she might just walk away without telling you. When you can’t get small bits of personal information from her she is not open to talking to you. Move on quickly before you talk yourself into a hole.

4. You get some friend introductions from her: meet her girlfriends is good, meet the guys she’s with is bad.

Thursday’s Dating Tip
She asks: “Are you a player?”
You answer: “Are you trying to hide the fact that YOU are?”

One key in situations like this is to NEVER give a woman a direct answer. Use your Cocky & Funny skills to come up with 5 good answers, and use them.
Maybe say: “Yes, I play sports… what do you like?”

As you can see, I like to turn questions and accusations around and guess that they’re trying to hide the fact that what they’re asking about is something wrong with THEM. Just don’t answer directly… and most women will give up.

If you get defensive and say “Oh, no no no… I’m not a Player at all…” most women won’t believe you anyway – even if you’re NOT a player.

Women Don’t Lie – Men Don’t Listen :: Success Coach – Doc Love

Hi Doc,
I don’t have a problem getting a woman to love me, but I can’t seem to get her to keep loving me. I seem to be able to make it as far as about six months in a relationship, but by the seventh or eighth month every woman leaves me.

I’m a cool guy and I make very good money. Nevertheless I’m always getting dumped and I can’t figure out why. The freaky thing is that I never see it coming. When they leave it’s always ends with a big argument that comes out of nowhere.

Can you tell me the signs to look for to tell that a woman is getting turned off so that I don’t get ambushed again? And could you also give me some tips about what I might be doing wrong that keeps making these women want to bail on me?
Craig – who is tired of losing

Hi Craig,
When a woman decides to leave a man with whom she’s been in a committed relationship, her romantic Interest Level towards him, in most cases, does not suddenly drop from say 95% to 39%. Rather, her feelings of affection and romance toward her partner have been eroded slowly by the man’s behavior and have finally sunk so low that she’d prefer to throw up than spend another day with him.

While this process is taking place, sadly, the man is usually cluesless that the woman’s romantic feelings towards him are diminishing. Only when her Interest Level has sunk below the point of no return is the hapless chap informed that he is history.

How and why does this happen?

Lets take as an example, a typical guy who is clinically sane and not abusive or an alcoholic or drug addict. Furthermore let’s assume he’s basically a good guy with a job, who’s responsible and has integrity.

When he gets dumped, it’s usually because he’s either being too nice, too available, too vulnerable and sweet, too predictable or too malleable and easily controlled so that she looses respect for him and her sexual attraction towards him dies a slow death. He is then no longer her romantic hero and she no longer sees him as mysterious or a Challenge in any way, although she once did.

Craig, what you probably do as time goes by, is get too comfortable with your girlfriend and you start to share too much about your personal insecurities. Or you don’t take a stand and say the word “no” when it’s appropriate, or you let her think that you can’t live without her.

So instead Craig, when you start out with a woman, don’t change your behavior as the months go by. You must be doing a lot of things right because you’re getting past sixty days with all these gals. So keep doing all the things that made these women fall in love with you initially, and don’t adopt any of these bad habits that I’ve described.

Now let me share some of the warning signs that you can use as feedback to let you know that you’re getting off track and need to correct your course with your next girlfriend. When a good relationship starts to go south, 90% of the time it goes down something like this:

First, there is the Getting That Strange Feeling Stage. This is when a woman’s feelings toward her boyfriend or husband, subtly begin to shift. She herself may not even be aware of such a change, although she does find it curious that she isn’t laughing as hard at her man’s jokes any longer. Nor does she touch him in public anymore the way she did in the good old days.

An objective observer would notice that her enthusiasm towards her partner has become muted. Still, she has warm feelings for him, although she admits to herself she can’t quite understand why she stared so long at the handsome new office manager at work. She even had a tingling sensation in her stomach.

These changes are occurring because all the things that her guy has been doing to lower her interest level are finally starting to take their toll. At this point her romantic Interest Level towards him is hovering somewhere between 51% and 60%.

Second, there is the Constant Arguing and Making up Stage. This is when her waning feelings cause her to start arguments. She will do things that she knows will upset her partner, hoping that he will do her dirty work for her – break up the relationship. But like most men he doesn’t have any idea that this is happening.

She is usually guilt-wracked at this stage and seldom departs for good because pity is the final vestige of emotion she has left for him. At this point, her romantic interest level has sunk to somewhere between 40% and 49%. Her body is there with him but not her heart.

Finally, there is the Armaggedon Blowup Stage. This is when she gets into a bitter, climactic argument with her man during which she will usually climb up on her soapbox (she probably instigated the quarrel herself) and act outraged that her man would dare lose his temper at such a “trivial thing” (she conveniently forgot they had a date for his father’s surprise birthday party and instead went out clubbing with her girlfriends).

With self-righteous indignation, she will inform the unfortunate guy that their relationship is irrevocably terminated. The guy of course is stunned by such a “sudden” breakup. In reality it wasn’t sudden al all. Her Interest level started at 95% and sank to below 40% over time – and that’s when she leaves.

So, remember guys, always be a Challenge and you’ll never get set up to take a fall.

Thursday’s Dating Tip

Rich women are just as likely to be nice or crazy or fun or weird as any other woman. Watch out for those who found wealth via divorce. They can tend to be trouble waiting to happen.

But by all means, if a rich woman wants to wine and dine you, then let her. And you’ll have great stories for your friends for years to come.

Hello Doc!I have been involved in a relationship for some time now. We have had our ups and our downs. Recently, we decided to date “unofficially” meaning we can both date around but not have sex but can kiss others. This time period of our “unofficial” dating lasted for about two weeks. And when we did it I promised her I would stay committed and not date around and just date her. She did not make that same promise to me.

About a week and a half ago we decided to date officially again and I asked her if she had dated or kissed anyone else. And her reply was no. And all of her friends say that she couldn’t bear to put me through her dating someone else which I see as a good thing. But, we (meaning she) decided we should date unofficially during a high time in our relationship.

What does this mean? I asked her. And I know she has been hurt in the past and doesn’t want me to hurt her but she also once told me that she has all of her trust invested in me. Now, I believe that she didn’t date around (because all of her off time she and me were dating), and didn’t kiss anyone. But did she want to date around or was she scared of me hurting her. She said at first that kissing other guys she would consider cheating on her part. But about a week into being unofficial she randomly changed her mind. I trust her and know that she had a reason to change her mind other then her actually kissing someone else or anything.

She says that she dated around because she wanted to see how important I am to her and that’s why only two weeks into the unofficially we became official again. I think that she was worried about me hurting her. Now we currently are on a high point, but I still want to prove to her that I am not going to hurt her. How do I show this? And how do I show that I know that I am important to her and that she is important to me other then just surprising her because I already do that as much as possible.

Hello!

Here’s how: by being the pussy that you’ve already been in this relationship. Now, not only does she know that she can “trust” you not to hurt her, she also knows that she can walk all over you, do anything she wants to do, change the rules at her own whim, date, kiss or even have sex with other guys, or anything else she wants – all because you made it possible for her.

What in the hell are you thinking? Is this really the kind of relationship you want with her? You’re not responsible for her mental health. So, she’s been hurt before, huh? Boo hoo! Poor baby. All of us have been hurt before. What makes HER so special that she gets to make you responsible for it?

If she wants a real, mature, healthy, adult relationship; that involves risk – just as it does for everyone else. You can’t take away that risk even if you try. The fact remains that she has her own choices to make about her relationship. All you’ve done is given her an excuse to do anything she damn well pleases to do – including walking all over you.

I strongly urge you to get your education about women straightened out. As soon as she meets a real man, she’s going to show you what hurt is. Trust me on this one!

Best regards…
Dennis Neder

What’s up Doc?

For the last three months I’ve been trying what you recommend. I’ve been asking every single attractive woman that I meet (that I have any interest in) for her phone number. What’s interesting is that I’ve run into a lot of girls who won’t give me their number but they ask me for mine.

The problem is that not one of the girls who has asked for MY number (and there’s been about fifteen since April) have ever called me, not one. I don’t get it. I mean I can understand why a girl might not want to give her number out to a guy she barely knows at all. But if they’re never going to call, then why do they even ask for my number in the first place? I know that one of women’s biggest complaints is that guys ask for their number and then never call. Well I’m here to tell you that women do the same thing!

So what’s the deal Doc? Am I doing something wrong? Is there something I should be saying when I give them my number that would make them actually follow through and dial my digits? What do you think?
Lloyd – who just doesn’t get it

Hi Lloyd,
As they say in Australia “good on ya” for having the guts to close so many cuties for their phone number. All of you guys have to get how vitally important it is to become totally comfortable saying the 5 magic words: ”What’s your home phone number?” Why? Because it is the first time you check her Interest Level.

Now, Lloyd, allow me to clear up your confusion. Below is a breakdown of the six types of women you will encounter when you’re out in the field, closing for their home phone numbers. You’ve probably run into most of them in your new adventures. But now you are going to have a full understanding of their behavior.

1) Women who give you their number despite the fact that they have no interest in you whatsoever and hope that you never will call. They give you the number to placate you and to get rid of you. Why do they do this? Because they can’t say the “N” word (No) to your face. They want to look good. They still want your approval. They don’t want you to think that they are unkind.

They’ve been taught that the male ego is fragile and that they have to always make nice. So they’d rather give you the number and then have you leave 27 messages and turn you down passively, by screening their calls and never returning yours. The Reality Factor says that the answering machine – because it screens out the flies – is their favorite weapon.

2) Women who get sadistic pleasure out of giving men false hope. They give their number out to every guy who asks for it. Then they have wine and cheese parties for their girlfriends where they all sit around and laugh themselves silly as they play back the messages of the various ‘chumps’ of the week. These poor guys naively believed in their heart that their potential date was sincere when she exuberantly said: “Call me!”

3) Women who will give you their number and will go out with you but still have no interest in you (Professional Daters). They’ll run your Visa bill up sky high even though you don’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of every having a relationship with them.

4) Women who won’t give you their number but still like to waste your time and manipulate you with various excuses, explanations and confusing maneuvers, i.e.: “I don’t give out my number to guys I don’t know, but give me yours and I’ll call you.” Women in this group are also incapable of saying no to your face.

5) Women who won’t give you their number but are honest and say: “Thanks for asking but I’m not interested, so I won’t waste your time by giving you my number”. A rare breed. There are only about 6 or 7 women on the entire face of the planet who would be this forthright.

6) Women who give you their number because they are interested in you and they want to go out with you. For some strange reason, they give it to you along with positive body language and without hesitation.

Lloyd, to answer your question specifically, the only thing you’re doing wrong is believing these women when they tell you that they’ll call you. You want to be spending time and energy only on women who have high interest in you, and a woman with high interest in you will not ask you for your number without giving you hers.

So the next time a girl says, ”Give me your number and I’ll call you,” here’s what to do. First, realize that you’ve already been disqualified. You’re going down in flames, even though she’s trying to make it look as if you’re not. But since you are, relax and have fun with it. Look her in the eye and say: “Do guys still fall for that line?” Or, “You know, I don’t feel comfortable giving my number out to someone I don’t know either.” Then give her a big smile, say “Nice talking to you,” and walk away.

Remember, guys, always ask for the HOME phone number.