Hi Rob,
I know nothing is free in this world anymore. So I would not expect that you reply to my email, but will give it a shot.
As for those “paid by a minute advice’, they could be great, but I have to see what I am buying first.
Anyhow, I am a single woman, 45. So what is my problem?
I don’t know and you hope you will help me to figure it out.
To start with, here is unbelievable fact- except one time only NOBODY ever approached me in my entire life with romantic intentions. Of course I do not count when I was a teenager and met my first husband at 17 and married him shortly after. I was married for 15 years and we eventually grew apart.
I married my second husband at 33, I met him online. I left him 4 months later as he started to display controlling, potentially abusive habits. My first husband was verbally abusive.
I met my third husband online and we got married after just 3 months dating. After 4 years of marriage we divorced and remain friends. The reason for divorce was that he wanted to move to another state where I could not find a job.
As you can see, one time only, at my sweet 16 I actually met someone, vs. met on-line. I have been dating on and off and met them all online.
I refuse to understand why no one would approach me with romantic intentions in real life.
First I thought it was my looks- you could never guess my age, as at 45 I am mostly mistaken for someone who is about 30, slender and wrinkles free.
I thought guys are confused.
One of my friends said that I intimidate guys, as I am pretty and have body of 20 years old, cute accent.
If that was the truth, pretty women would have always remained single. I am friendly, always smile and can easily start a conversation with anyone.
So what is my problem?
I am tired of being single ( 2 years now), and don’t want to date online again. I am not stuck up, I am nice and people always tell me that this is the first impression they get after talking to me just for a few minute.
Help to figure this out.
It seems like everybody, thin and big, ugly and pretty, smart and stupid got someone. Why not me? I don’t think I can carry on single for long. My kids are grown up. and I am very lonely.
Thanks,
Lonely and losing hope.
Hi Lonely,
One of the oddest truths in the world is how lonely it is to be a beautiful woman. Include women with brains too.
I have heard from good looking women a lot, smart women too.
Men just are afraid to approach women that are “out of their league” and that’s why you are in the position you are.
It’s hard to believe but true.
Good looking women are often lonely and unfulfilled an you are in this category too.
I think that you have a lot to learn about yourself and that is why you’re single again.
To make this a short while (not much more than the past two years anyways) I suggest the most likely of things for you… find a group/charity/organization that you believe in and volunteer a couple of hours a week of your time.
While I believe that online dating works, it can be time consuming to find the right type of guy to be with.
And getting dates through friends is a daunting task at best and at over 40, it’s hard to find any great guys that aren’t already taken, whether they are good looking, smart, or the dog’s breakfast.
Please take my advice and “involve yourself” in a charity or other group.
Take a night class of something you’d like to learn, maybe cooking but I think rather, a conversational language course. Have you ever been to Spain? Maybe it’s time to plan a trip and learn the language at a local college/university/high school… where ever.
You don’t need to be single but you shouldn’t grab at the next available guy… take this time for yourself and you’ll find the right guy for you and keep your own intellect tested as well.
Best wishes,
Rob.